I want to personally thank Playboy for making my single parenting job even more difficult.
What? The plastic boobs they usually exhibit aren’t fake enough?
Will women start asking for cartoon-inspired plastic surgery?
Did Marge grow up with a father figure? Is Grampa her dad or Homer’s?
Mali’s fatherless home was a choice I made in 2000…
…and a choice I continue to make on a daily basis.
Now my nine year old wants a copy!
I grew up wanting to be in Playboy.
I blame J. Geils and my father’s basement stack.
Playboy’s classy (ha, ha, ha) unlike Hustler, or the Victoria Secret’s Catalog, or my sister’s breast pump instruction manual.
So maybe it’s not so bad.
But when I’ve said to others, “I don’t care if she grows up to be a pole dancer as long as she does it to the best of her ability,” I was only half-kidding.
It’s okay, as long as the cash earned pays for medical school.