Edgar Allan Poe’s “Proper” Interment

A late friend of mine once said, “Funerals. They’re all the same. If you’ve been to one, you’ve been to them all.” And for the most part…true. The boring carnation smell. The hang-me-by-the-rafters music. That’s why I’ve always stated that I want circus music and a back-flipping dog at mine. And lots of balloons. Only this funeral isn’t like the others. I may have even payed the required $40 to attend. Unfortunately, this event is SOLD OUT!

I wonder if they’ll be serving drinks.

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(click on Eddie to read ABC’s version)

In celebration of his 200th birthday, a mock funeral on Sunday Oct. 11th. He actually died Oct. 7th, but being a weekday, that date’s not convenient.

Edgar Allan Poe’s original funeral wasn’t well attended. The place wasn’t packed, etc. So some brilliant individual decided to give him a “proper” one.

Is it wrong that I find this hilarious?

Will he appreciate the effort?

“When they dug up Poe’s body in 1875 to move it. It was mostly skeletal remains,” Jeff Jerome, curator of the Poe House and Museum, said. “I’ve seen remains of people who’ve been in the ground since that time period, and there’s hardly anything left.”

To make it authentic, they’re using a fake corpse. I would have done it differently. Instead of having John Astin (Gomez from The Addams Family, Father of Sean Astin, Mikey from The Goonies…one of my 7th and 8th grade obsessions) as Master of Ceremonies, I would have him stand-in or lay-down for Poe. Sure, Poe was only 40 when he croaked but the body’s supposed to be 200 years old. Not only has he played Poe countless times before, Mr. Astin’s 79. Couldn’t appear more dead than that. And, if they just waited a little longer…

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Astin in his Gomez days.

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Astin as Poe.

The man has been dead since 1849 (Poe not Astin). Get over it.

Part of me says– yes, he was a great writer.

But another part of me says–he was kicked out of West Point, and he married his 13 year old cousin.

And then there’s that part that says COOL!

Would he have wanted a funeral of grandeur? Who knows? I prefer to think that he would rather have a birthday party like Ginny in the 1981 classic Happy Birthday to Me.

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Surrounded by close friends.

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