The top ten excuses David Letterman will give to his wife.
10. It didn’t mean anything.
9. They were on the payroll.
8. Polygamy is illegal.
7. Conan’s doin’ it too.
6. My cardiologist recommended exercise.
5. Joaquin Phoenix made me.
4. The defibrillator was in the shop.
2. Paul Shaffer was on vacation.
And the #1 excuse David Letterman will give to his wife is…
1. They couldn’t resist my grille.