Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary, How Did Your Children Grow?

“All you can do as a parent is try the best you can.”–spoken by Dina Lohan, Barbara and George Herbert Walker Bush, Mr. and Mrs. Dahmer, and Mary Ann Cottrell


Dee (my sister): George did something stupid. I told him it was because Mom dropped him on his head…and he said that she dropped us all on our heads.

Lonna: I think she did Dee.

Dee: Really Mom?

Mom: Pretty much.

(An admission of guilt to dropping all three of her children—-on their heads.)

Dee: I don’t remember hearing that.

(Could be the resulting brain damage. My head, on the other hand, obviously hit the pavement less.)

Dee: I was just thinking of the time he fell off that doctor’s table.

Mom: Oooo. Come on. The table was away from the wall.

Me: He fell off twice! She’s actually placing blame on the orthopedist.

Mom: But it was this far away…(her hands, a foot apart)… this far!

Me: Mom, it was an examination table.  People are supposed to take care of their children, watch them, and make sure they don’t fall off. (That is why they aren’t equiped with restraints.) If you have a toddler, you are the one responsible for keeping him on the table. How old was he anyway? He had to be younger than two years.

(My brother had bilateral leg casts put on to align his bowed legs.)

Mom: Actually, he was eight months.

Not a surprise when I found her lighter in my daughters crib…with my daughter.

4 thoughts on “Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary, How Did Your Children Grow?

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  1. The following are my comments on “Mary, Mary Quite Contrary, How Did Your Children Grow? ” written by my daughter Lonna at http://www.lonnacottrell.com who is now being ex-communicated from the Cottrell Family as you read this. First of al…l, you know how things Fall in three’s. Well, that just proves it wasn’t my fault, doesn’t it? And the lighter,…well it was CHILDPROOF………………..!!! I’m not stupid!!!!

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