Most of the day, my parenting abilities aren’t in question. I’m proud of the job I’ve done with my soon-to-be nine year old daughter. I’m a good mom. Sure we have ice cream for breakfast/dinner, but I encourage individuality, responsibility, the importance of education and an open mind. Still there are times when I wonder.
The Short List That Makes Me Ask, “What Have I Done?”
1. She believes that looks are unimportant. Naive and true only in theory.
2. Her condescending attitude toward children, adults, and (especially) me.
3. Her never-ending use of the word inappropriate and her composition of The Inappropriate-ness Song.
4. She proclaims she’s, “HOT in both ways.”
5. She loves Nightly News with Brian Williams and calls him sexy.
6. Her affinity for The History Channel.
7. Her continual recital of the trailer for I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell and her inability to understand that she’s not allowed to see the film or read the book.
8. She reads the dictionary.
9. Knows the words to and loves to sing NIN’s “Head Like A Hole” and The Ramones’ “Beat on the Brat”.
11. For an assignment in kindergarten, the students were instructed to bring in an object starting with a certain letter of the alphabet. On L day, she brought in a toy liver. The toy liver made a reappearance on O day for organ.
12. The mere fact that she has a toy liver.
13. The day she brought the America’s Serial Killers DVD over to show me the cute guys on the cover.